love from faraway...

오늘은 무려 2004년에 네이버 블로그에 썼던
무라카미 하루키 산문집의 한 구절을 재탕하려 한다.


마음이란 사용하는 것이 아니다. 
마음이란 그냥 거기에 있는 것이다.
마음은 바람과도 같아서 당신은 그 움직임을 
느끼는 것만으로도 좋은 것이다. 

나의 인생은 이미 많은 부분을 상실하고 말았지만
그것은 겨우 한 부분이 끝났을 다름이다.
이제부터 무엇인가를 
거기에서 얻을 수 있을 것이다.

Murakami Haruki <한 없이 슬프고 외로운 영혼에게>



Yes I was sad maybe I am still.
Once I tried so hard to control my and others' mind/heart but it was no use.
Yes it is supposed to stay still. It is supposed to feel the wind, feel everything that passes by.

Part of my heart is severely burnt and now blackened. I lost that part. It is not functional anymore.
I lost half of my cheerfulness. I am sad and lonely which can't be explained by any means.
I am still young and if the world doesn't end this Friday, I will live even longer.

First and a half chapter of my life is closing now but I'd better learn from and use my blackened part.
It is merely a part that has seen the end. Merely a part of me.....









* We are still young and have a long way to go. Everybody including us is standing still wherever we are. Part of our mind/heart might have been scattered and vanished by some unforeseen forces but we are still standing there where everything flows, passes by. From a scattered or vanished part of us we learn to live again, live the rest parts of our lives.