Nieuw beginnen

I posted this story on my facebook but I think I will repeat it here again. After a huge dark storm has passed, I had a dream. A dream of having a fully tattooed body from head to toes. Some of them was Korean letters. But somehow I regretted having tattoos and desperately wanted to erase everything. But I woke up without doing so. This meant something I thought. This is something extraordinary and it tries to tell me something. I searched for dream interpretations.

Yes indeed. My dream was reflecting my psychological and emotional status. It meant that I suffer from not being able to express myself and my emotions. And I just endure these sufferings. How great. This was so accurate I was little bit scared.

Anyways like I said the huge dark storm has already passed. It is calm and I hope this continues till I die. It is such a waste of time and emotions. I hate playing emotions. It is not productive and not healthy.

To compensate my shredded emotions, I hurried myself to buy tickets. Tickets that will send me to some other places. I initially wanted to go to Paris with Shan in the fourth week of February but since I have a vacation in the third week, why not go somewhere then? Getting some fresh air as early as possible is a better idea.

So I bought return tickets to Madrid! Only if I had more time, I would've gone to Barcelona as well but I can't skip my classes. I am a very strongly-study-committed student :-) In Madrid we can also practice some slecht Spanish as well! Haha.

Another friend of mine who is studying in Finland also suggested to travel Helsinki together with her. Yes waarom niet? Just thought of travelling already made me so up-beat and happy. And I believe this is also a very good idea for a nieuw beginnen. There will be some financial crisis over the next few months, but what the hell! I just go for it.

It is only good for me. Getting some fresh air and travelling with old friends of mine :-)

Belgen zijn koud

I was threatened to leave this country. I became almost a homeless. Everything was useless. He was cold - te koud. 

Geen belgen begrijpen mij. 

Everybody has their own reasons to be like themselves now. I don't comment more on that. It's pitiful and shameful, so I don't have any more things to say. Maar belgen zijn simply koud - te koud. If you don't know about something well enough, please be careful with your words on that.

I am totally an outsider. Niemand begript mij. Niemand! It is sad but true. Your narrow-mindedness and stubbornness will slowly make you realise what you've done to me. Slowly but eventually.

Wat kan ik nu doen? Niks.

 

Osho moment - Right NOW!

Yes, I desperately need an Osho moment. So I opened any pages of the book 'Bliss: living beyond happiness and misery', and read. 

Bliss p.61

You are ill, you are in distress, life is filled with problems, so you get drunk and everything seems to be alright. A bum walks into a pub, and when he leaves there is a song on his lips. You buy happiness at the cost of losing the small ray of consciousness that you have. But these things will never bring bliss to you, because happiness is nothing but the forgetting of sorrow, whereas bliss is the remembrance of your being. It is not the forgetting of something, it is a total remembrance of something. It is not a forgetting, it is a total remembrance.

p.105

People have to be ready to suffer for the joys of success and ambition they pursue their whole lives, to suffer in the same proportion as the amount of happiness they pursue - and those hardships and sufferings will break them completely. Long before they have experienced any success, they will have become almost a failure. Nobody ever succeeds in this world, because you have to go through so much insanity, so much madness as the price for this success, that by the time success comes it is not worth having.

The bliss of self-realisation is totally different: you don't have to pay any price for it, because what you are trying to reach is already present in you, here and now. It is not somewhere in the future - that you have to go in search of it and work hard for it. It is present here, it is present now. You already have it; it is your intrinsic treasure. There is no need to go through any sufferings as a price for it.


DUS!!!! moet ik mijn 'intrinsic treasure' vinden. This is the time I need a break and a sound meditation.

silver nails?

The name of my blog or website always has been 'moonlight flitting' since I was in Middle school (junior high school). There were two reasons why I named my blog like that. Firstly, I liked and still like the moon. I love anything to do with the moon and moonlight and don't know the reasons why. I just like it. Even my first tattoo is a crescent moon. The second reason was when I made my first blog, I was in love with this Korean band 'Moonchild'. They were four but after the two albums (I guess), one left the group and they changed the band name to M.C the Max. I still loved their music. And I still do now.

Anyways, I made a blog and a fan page named 'moonlight flitting' as if I wanted to flee somewhere with the members of the band :-) And the matching word 'moon' was very important. I remember when I was deciding how to call the name of the fan page, I went through my dictionary starting from MOON of course. And then I chose that name. That was almost 12-13 years ago. Time flies!

My old fan page no longer exists but my other blog is still 'moonlight flitting'. As logging into Naver server was so slow when I was in Australia, I made another blog 'Kika y Shortbus'. I think it was mainly to keep my detox diary in Canberra. I still wrote after the detox programme but abandoned it again after abusing it to express my extremely hurt feelings. Anyways it was called Kika y Shortbus for the obvious reasons. I love the movies 'Kika'(Pedro Almodovar) and 'Shortbus'(John Cameron Mitchell). By the way I don't think I posted any movie related stuff :P

And why silver nails and brussels for this blog??
I knew I was coming to Brussels and thought it would be fun to record my life in Brussels. It hasn't been really fun so far (haha) but anyways I continue. So the 'brussels' part in the name of my blog is obvious but why 'silver nails'? I hardly wear nail polish. I used to wear only in Uganda where I didn't need to do all the house chores that would ruin the nails and the nail polish was dammmmmmn cheap.

Silver nails, this is again related to a singer (not a band this time). While I was in Korea before coming to Uganda/Belgium, I enjoyed watching some singing competition TV show and there was this girl called '이하이' whom I really really liked. I loved her voice and style. One day, she wore this very cool-looking silver nails and I found them so so so fascinating I even bought myself a silver nail polish. I tried only once (haha) anyways that is the reason why I named this blog 'silver nails and brussels'. Maybe I instinctively wanted to be like her in a mysterious European city.

Now I gave a thought and summerised on that, I should wear silver nails tonight. :-)

 

Sapiosexual

something that is stuck in my head today
sapiosexual, dat ben ik

New Year's Reception at the Castle

Op dinsdag 22 januari 2013, gingen Bart en ik naar het Kasteel Hertoginnedal (Château de Val-Dutchesse) voor de Nieuwjaar receptie.

Everybody I met at the reception told me how historically important the castle has been in the Belgian and European politics. It is the place where the Treaties of Rome and the European Economic Community were prepared and founded. There was a plaque explaining about the intergovernmental conference in 4 different languages - French, Dutch, Italian and German.

Surprisingly there was no speech, we just had to enjoy wine and limited vegetarian finger food. They were serving soup - supposedly witloof soup... So I finished it but it had shrimps on the bottom. YUK! Anyways it was such fun talking to people and just enjoying the atmosphere.


***
신년맞이 리셉션
유럽정치에서 굉장히 중요한 장소에 초대받아, supposedly 중요한 사람들 틈에 끼어서,
신나게 마시고 신나게 떠들고 왔다 :-)

Home-made scones

It's been such a long long long time since I wanted to bake this scone! It's made with love of course ;-) and with olives and potatoes. It was my first time to make scones and by judging from its taste, I can say it was a successful attempt :-)

With some raspberry jam, the scone was melting in my mouth and filled up my hungry stomach. I should bake some more vegan breads with wholemeal flour as I made once in Brisbane... :-) Ah good memories.


***
스콘을 구웠다. 태어나서 처음 만들어본 올리브+감자 스콘은 완전 성공적 >_<
다음번엔 비건 브레드를 구워야지.

 

Mijn verslaving; my addiction

I fell in love with Milosh few years back and I am still. I am so addicted to his voice and style. I simply love all his music. I wish he could come to Belgium and perform. That will be my day!

My Pandora bracelet.... this is indeed an expensive addiction. Somehow the shop assistant recommended me a big bracelet (19cm) regardless of my wrist (14cm) size. But if I make it a full-charm bracelet...... it will look prettier and more fitting. I've never worn such an expensive jewelery but I think it as a treatment to myself :-)

My favourite comic book! I simply love Urasawa Naoki! I prefer Monster but 20th century boys is also a very good comic book :-) I am re-reading it in Dutch and it has been good so far. 

Mijn Ukulele met inlay stickers! Awww I am not yet very addicted to playing ukulele but will be soon - once I become better at it :-)


***
그래 벨기에에서의 삶을 긍정적으로 생각하고 싶다면, 지금 내가 누리는 문화적 혜택을 생각하는게 가장 좋을 것 같아. 그 중의 하나인 만화책과, 음악 그리고 영화.

우간다나 다른 개발국에 있었더라면 이런걸 누리기는 힘들었겠지.
물론 자연과 화창한 날씨를 compromise 해야하긴 하지만 :-)
여하튼 오늘도 밀로쉬의 음악을 들으며 자야겠다

Het sneeuwt! (een keer meer!)

Het sneeuwt! Het was heel koud maar het was moooooooooooi :-)
Somebody drew three hearts (for me) on strangers' cars. I was being very careful not to fall down when I walked to the Dutch lesson.

In the lesson, we had a very interesting conversation on 'alternatieve geneeskunde'. I wanted to explain about 'cupping (부황)' and had difficulties due to my lack of Dutch! I somehow managed to mention small cups that apply on body to take out negative energy. I just wanted to finish my explanation there. But! there was another person who knew about cupping! It was Mo from Iran and he also tried cupping and he even explained the part of taking out blood. He added that people do cupping in order to take out 'slecht bloed' as well. zwarte bloed = slecht bloed = ongezond! And everybody was like 'eeeeeuw', but we smiled. Yes it works!


***
난 눈이 정말 정말 싫지만, 하얀 눈으로 뒤 덮인 암비오릭스 스퀘어는 정말 아름다웠어.
출근하면서 그려준 하트도 마음에 들었어.

부황얘기 하다보니.. 나 침도 맞고 싶고, 부황도 뜨고 싶다!

de goede voornemens voor het nieuwe jaar

Ik heb sommige voornemens voor het nieuwe jaar.

I didn't really make big new year's resolutions, but I will try to make them happen :-) Obviously the most important thing for me now is to learn languages - both Dutch and French. My Dutch is okay I think, but mijn Frans is heel slecht dus moet ik Frans meer leren!

After waiting so long for the new French course to open, I could finally register (thanks to mijn nootjes). Dus, mijn eerste voornemen is om Frans en Nederlands te leren. Mijn tweede voornemen is om exercise en yoga te doen. I also want to keep positive mind and not be pessimistic.

Like I always jokingly say to Bart, I will master French and beat his French! umhwahwahwa



***
프렌치 코스에 등록을 했다. 네덜란드어보다 많이 비싸지만 -_-+
브뤼셀에서 생존하려면 조금 더 인텐시브하게 배울 필요가 있기때문에.

Kerst cadeautjes

First posting of 2013 is about my cadeautjes! My sis Bona sent me a hand-made card from Korea. I could feel lots of love from her! Miss her so much.. and all the times we spent together.

Bart gave me an iPod classic. Now I can listen to various kinds of music (even including 80s). Haha

For my family in Korea, I bought some clothes and chocolates. I don't think I will send stuff to Korea anymore because the post tariff is too expensive...... I prepared around 4.9kg of gift to Korea but when the guy at de winkel measured it was 5.040kg which meant I had to pay 129.60 euros instead of 64.80 euros. But the guy was being sweet and he made my package 4.999kg :-)

It is quite unfair that the tariff of packages is not based on each weight but according to weight group like 0~5kg, 5~10kg etc.

I am now so happy that I sent some gifts for my family. I miss them a lot :( (sniff sniff)


***
벨기에에서 한국으로 소포를 보냈다.
1월 세일기간에 쇼핑을 대단하게 하고, 아빠와 동생을 위한 옷, 엄마를 위한 신발
그리고 모든 가족들을 위한 초콜릿과 와플정도.
아 그리고 가장 중요한 달력 :-)

0~5kg까지는 64.80유로이고 5~10kg까지는 129.60 유로라서 처음 계획은 많은 물건들을 준비해서 10킬로 가량 보내야지. 했는데, 경제적 사정이 급변해서 딱 4.9킬로를 준비했더랬다.

그런데 막상 포스트를 보내려니 5.040kg가 나왔다. 아저씨는 나에게 129.60유로를 내라고 하고 나는 '아~ 일부러 집에서 무게 재고 5킬로 이내로 맞춰왔는데요~~' 이랬더니, '그래 너가 젠틀하니깐 내가 이렇게 해준다' 하시며 저울에서 내 패키지를 내리더니 임의로 4.999kg로 만들어 주셨다. 홍홍홍 호주에서 물건 보낼때는 열흘이내 도착했던 것 같던데.. 이번엔 얼마나 걸릴까. 유럽은 더 머니깐 더 오래 걸리겠지?

그나저나 가족들이 좋아했으면 좋겠다.